Shikon Taisen: The Phantom Menace
by newmooninuyasha
Summary: An InuyashaStarwars crossover parody. Think 'phantom menace,' but with OnigumoNaraku as Anakin, Sesshoumaru as Quigon, and Inuyasha as Obiwan. A must for star wars and Inuyasha fans. Expect to see the entire saga 'Inuyasharized' in near future.
1. Chapter 1

**A quick note from the author: No, as much as I wish I did, I do not own Inuyasha. Or star wars. Jeez, why do we have to say this! It's fan fiction, a fictional take on stories by fans. Sheesh.**

**Disclaimer: Think of this as the Inuyasha characters acting out Star wars. I tried to match up the people best suited towards characters, but I am not suggesting that I am a fan of Inu/kag, or Inu/kik, or Sesshie/rin or whatever. This is just a dumb, humorous story. Don't take it too seriously.**

**Last of all: Please check out my other stories! Review my story and I will review yours.**

_...A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..._

**Shikon Taisen**

Episode one: the phantom menace

The galaxy is in turmoil. The planet **Naboo** is under constant attack from neighboring planets who covet the sacred **Shikon jewel**, or jewel of four souls. High priestess **Kagome** of Naboo has taken on the hallowed duty of guarding the jewel with her divine powers, but despite her power, she is still not safe. Two **Jedi Samurai** named **Qui-gon Sesshie **(Don't kill me) and his padawan learner **Inu-wan Kenobi **have come to be her royal bodyguards. But after narrowly escaping a fleet of assassins, the Jedi Samurai and the High priestess Kagome have crash-landed on a remote planet in the outer rim... **Tatooine**.

"Qui-gon Sesshie, Inu-wan Kenobi!" Kagome cried, "Are you hurt?"

Inu-wan groaned and rubbed his head. "Nothing that won't heal over in a few hours."

Qui-gon Sesshie turned around. He was a master of the force, and somehow managed to remain upright through the landing. "What is important is are_ you_ alright, Lady Kagome?" he asked.

Kagome winced in pain as she showed him her right arm. It was bleeding. Qui-gon Sesshie took out his lightsaber and sliced Kagomes arm.

"Master!" Inu-wan screamed, "What are you doing!"

But Kagomes arm had healed completely. For you see, every Jedi is given a lightsaber. Every lightsaber is very different... and for some reason, Qui-gon Sesshies lightsaber was a lightsaber of healing. It could not kill a soul, unlike his padawan Inu-wan Kenobis lightsaber, which was the strongest lightsaber forged by the hands of a living creature.

"Thank you, Qui-gon." Kagome breathed a sigh of relief.

"Don't mention it." Qui-gon Sesshie said dully, putting away his lightsaber. "We should go and look for fuel, and a mechanic who can fix our vessel."

"One moment." Lady Kagome said, walking into another room. She came out a few seconds later, along with a young girl.

"Please take my handmaiden, Kikyo." The priestess said, "I want to learn as much as I can about this planet, so if she goes with you she can tell me about everything."

"It will be dangerous... But ok." Qui-gon Sesshie agreed.

"Lemme come, too!" A little kid who looked like a fox scrambled over to them.

"Shippo Binks." Inu-wan Kenobi sighed, glaring at the Gungan creature they had picked up in the swamplands of Naboo, "Fine, but if you get lost out there we aren't sending out a search party to come looking for you."

"Fair enough." Shippo Binks shrugged, climbing on Inu-wans shoulder.

Kagome watched as the three ventured out into the unknown dangers of Tatooine. She was safe alone, she had many guards... but she went to her room, unaccompanied. She sat on the floor, and stared into the distance.

Almost as if she was watching something...


	2. Chapter 2

"Im tired. Im bored. Im hungry. Im hot. My feet are burning." Shippo Binks whined.

"Don't forget annoying." Inu-wan Kenobi growled.

"Patience, padawan." Qui-gon Sesshie reminded, "Use the force."

"Ok." Inu-wan paused. "Hey, Shippo."

"Yeah?"

"'The force' is giving you the finger."

"Qui-_goooon_!" Shippo screamed, "Is it? Is it!"

"The force can not give 'the finger.'" He glared at Inu-wan Kenobi, who kicked the dust innocently. Shippo stuck his tongue out at Inu-wan.

"Hey, you." Qui-gon Sesshie said to a toadlike creature, "Is this a mechanic shop?"

"Eh? Ahhh... business! Yes, this is a mechanic shop." It said, "The name's Jaken. How can I be of your service, milord?" He chuckled mockingly.

Qui-gon Sesshie pulled out a hologram-like object, which showed his ship. "We need fuel and a new engine for this ship." He said.

"Eh? This is a federation cruiser!" Jaken cried, "Even if I did have parts for it--which I do--They will be veeery expensive."

Qui-gon Sesshie waved his hand. "30 credits will be enough."

"No, they won't."

He tried again "You _will_ take 30 credits."

"No, I won't!" Jaken huffed, "Who do you think you are, some kind of **Jedi** waving your hand around like that! Mind tricks don't work on me! Only money." He grinned, "And you couldn't even buy _half_ a tank of fuel for 30 credits, much less parts for a federation cruiser. But maybe I have something that could suit you... You there! Boy!" He turned around, "Come show these people around, or I'll beat you!"

"Yes, master!" a voice called out from the back room. Then a little boy ran out to greet his visitors. No one really remembers what his face looked like, because this was so many thousands of years ago, and such details are lost. But when this boy laid eyes upon his guests, he realized from the start these were no ordinary people. Especially the girl... his face, though there is no record of how it looked, blushed a deep shade of crimson as she smiled at him.

"Um..." He stammered, "If you only have 30 credits, im sure I can find something for you to buy!"

"Get them to buy something, and then you can go home." Jaken said, trotting off.

"Yippee!" the boy cheered. The girl giggled and he turned around, even more embarrassed than before.

"Kikyo, humor the child while we look around for a bit." Qui-gon Sesshie said, rolling his eyes and motioning for his padawan to follow him. Inu-wan Kenobi nodded and walked after him.

"Are you a goddess?" the child blurted out.

"A goddess?" Kikyo repeated.

"Yeah, a goddess. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe. They come from the moons of Diebo, I think."

"You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?" the girl asked with a smile on her face.

"Well, im Jakens slave worker so I overhear stories pilots tell him when he's fixing their ships." The boy answered.

"You're a slave?" The girl said with a shocked tone.

"Im a **_person_**, and my name is Onigumo." The boy said angrily.

"Oh, im sorry." She said quickly, "Im just not used to the fact that slavery still exists in this galaxy."

"Well, it does. Both me and my mom are slaves." Onigumo sighed, "What's your name?" he asked.

"Im Kikyo." She smiled. Qui-gon stuck his head through the door flap.

"Lady Kikyo!" He called, "there's a sandstorm coming. We need to get back to the ship."

"Where is your ship, sir?" Onigumo asked.

"On the outskirts of town." Kikyo answered.

"The outskirts of town? You won't make it in time!" He cried, "Sandstorms are _very_, very dangerous. Come with me! You can stay in my house for the night."

"That would be wonderful." Kikyo smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

"Mom!" Onigumo shouted, "Im home! And I brought some friends!"

"Friends...?" Inu-wan Kenobi raised his eyebrow. Kikyo glared at him and walked behind the boy.

"Friends, you say, Onigumo?" a voice questioned from behind a door. An elderly woman with one eye stepped out from behind it. "Oh, you're serious!"

"That's his mother!" Inu-wan whispered to Qui-gon Sesshie, "Looks like his great grandmother!"

"That was uncalled for." Qui-gon Sesshie muttered to his padawan, and then he straightened up and looked the woman in the eye. "My name is Qui-gon Sesshie, this is Inu-wan Kenobi and this is Kikyo." He said, motioning to his companions.

"My name is Kaede." The woman smiled, "Make yourselves at home. I know how dangerous sandstorms can be. I am glad you made friends with my son."

"Come on!" Onigumo said to Kikyo, "Let me show you Kanna." He dragged Kikyo off to the next and only room in the small hut. Kikyo smiled and bowed slightly to Kaede as Onigumo closed the curtain door.

"I wanted you to be the first to see." He said, uncovering what appeared to be a young girl. Kikyo gasped as the body sat up.

"_This_ is Kanna." Onigumo stated proudly, "I made her."

Kikyo touched the girls' hair. "You made her...?" Her hand jumped back as the Childs eyes opened.

"Greetings, Master Onigumo." She whispered emotionlessly, "How may I be of service?"

"Introduce yourself to Lady Kikyo." He ordered.

Kanna turned to Kikyo. "Good afternoon, Lady Kikyo."

Kikyo gaped at the site. Kanna stood up and stepped gracefully off the bed. She was completely naked.

"I... haven't had time to find something for her to wear." Onigumo blushed, looking away.

"She's _amazing_." Kikyo said in awe, "You **made** her? But how?"

"I can do things other people can't." said Onigumo, "I just... made her. It's hard to explain. She doesn't really have much emotion, but she does what I tell her to, and she can help mom around the house."

Kikyo just stared. Kanna seemed completely human, but how could anyone--especially a little boy--create a human?

Shippo Binks walked in the room. "Onigumo, Kikyo, dinner's ready! Oh--oh my..." Shippo blushed, "Why is that little girl naked?"

"Naked?" Kanna whispered softly, "Whatever do you mean?"

"You know..." Shippo whispered, "Your parts are showing."

"My parts are showing?" Kanna looked down, "My goodness."

Kikyo put the bed sheet around the girl and patted her on the head. Shippo Binks led her and Onigumo to the worn out wooden table where Kaede had laid out the plates. A simple yet good smelling dish of food was set out for them all.

"This is delicious, Mrs. Kaede." Kikyo smiled, wiping her mouth politely.

"That's just Kaede." Onigumos mother corrected, "Im not married."

"I am so sorry." Kikyo apologized.

"Did your husband die or something?" Inu-wan Kenobi asked.

"Inu-wan." Qui-gon Sesshie said sternly.

"No, no, im not a widower." Kaede shook her head, "I was never married."

"Oh. So you're one of _those_ women." Inu-wan glowered at her.

"Inu-wan!" Qui-gon Sesshie shouted.

"No! It wasn't like that!" Kaede cried, "There was no father. As in there **never** was a father."

Inu-wan Kenobi cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I have never been with a man in my life."

"You're that old and you've never"--

"Inu-wan!" Shippo Binks and Qui-gon Sesshie yelled in unison.

"Come now, you all! Let's eat this lovely food Kaede set out for us." Kikyo pleaded.

Shippo snatched a wiener-shaped octopus from Qui-gons plate. He got away with it the first time but the second time he was conked over the head by Qui-gon Sesshies fist.

"_Don't_ do that again." He hissed, pushing the fox-child away.

Onigumo took a second look at Qui-gon Sesshie. He thought he saw a lightsaber on his belt... was this man a Jedi Samurai? Were all of them?


	4. Chapter 4

Later that night, Onigumo lie awake working on making some clothes for Kanna. Qui-gon Sesshie had a lightsaber! That had to mean he was a Jedi Samurai! Either that or he killed one... but _no one could kill a Jedi_, he thought shaking his head. _I bet that guy with dog ears, Inu-wan Kenobi is his apprentice._

"You should get some sleep, master Onigumo." Kanna whispered.

"Clothes are so hard to make," He complained, "I wish I knew how to sew better, or that mom could make you something."

"I don't need anything, seeing that I am nothing more than something you created, master."

"Don't talk like that. Everyone needs clothes." Onigumo scoffed matter-of-factly.

"I am happy that you care for me, master Onigumo." Said Kanna in her vacant whisper.

"Of course I do! Someday im gonna get the finest silk for you to wear. And a pretty mirror to carry around, like all the fancy women do." Onigumo said pensively.

"And yet I would still live only to serve you, my master."

"There's nothing wrong with that, is there, Kanna?" Onigumo asked.

"I could not possibly live any other way, master Onigumo."

The next day, Onigumo and Qui-gon Sesshie were talking. Sesshie had taken a liking to the child.

"You're a Jedi Samurai, aren't you?" Onigumo asked out of the blue.

"Now what makes you think that?" Qui-gon Sesshie asked.

"I saw your lightsaber the other night." Onigumo stated, "Only Jedi carry those kinds of things. Plus the federation cruiser... it all adds up."

Clever child, Qui-gon Sesshie thought. "Perhaps I killed a Jedi and stole his weapon."

"That's impossible. No one can kill a Jedi."

"If only that were true." Sesshie said distantly.

Onigumo smiled. Here, in his own town, his own house was a real live Jedi Samurai!"

"My padawan learner Inu-wan Kenobi is a Jedi as well." Qui-gon Sesshie informed Onigumo.

"Is Kikyo?" Onigumo asked.

"No. but... you don't need to know about her." Qui-gon Sesshie said quickly and calmly.

Onigumo suddenly harbored a deep feeling of affection for his guests. "How are you going to get back to where you wanna go if you don't have the parts you need?" he asked.

"We won't." Qui-gon shrugged, "We will have to find the money somehow."

"I bet I can fix your cruiser!" Onigumo piped up, "Im really good at fixing things. And making them, too! You'll still need the fuel, but 30 credits will cover that plenty. Please let me try, Qui-gon Sesshie."

Qui-gon thought for a moment. "You are serious?" he asked.

"Yes!" Onigumo nodded.

"Then, what do we have to loose?" Qui-gon said.

"Oh no! I forgot something." Onigumo groaned, "Im a slave! I have a tracking device inside of me that will blow me up if I go more than five miles away from here! Only Jaken can deactivate it."

Qui-gon patted the boys head. "It's ok." He said, "We'll find another way. But first... there's something I want you to do for me."


	5. Chapter 5

Later that night, Qui-gon Sesshie was sitting outside with Onigumo. He cut his arm very slightly with a tiny blade.

"Ouch!" Onigumo flinched, "What was that for?"

"Im testing you for demonic or spiritual power." Qui-gon Sesshie explained, "I am a Jedi, and Inu-wan Kenobi is as well. We both have immense demonic power, though Inu-wans blood is not as powerful as mine. He is technically only _half_ demonic power, so he can never be a true Jedi."

"But that's still more than most people have," Onigumo pointed out.

"True." Qui-gon Sesshie admitted, "If you have demonic power in your blood, you have the potential to become a Jedi Samurai."

"Really?" Onigumo gasped.

"Yes." Qui-gon Sesshie took a little vial of the blood and immediately sensed power. His blood was clearly human, but it had this... essence, or potential. It was not demonic, or even spiritual like Kikyos, but there was something there... a presence that was stronger than even the master of all Jedi Samurai.

"Is there anything there?" Onigumo asked anxiously.

"I... will have to check closer later." Qui-gon Sesshie stammered. "You should get to sleep. It's late."

"Ok." Onigumo went in the house without question.

Inu-wan Kenobi suddenly rolled off the roof. He crashed to the floor and dusted off his pants. "So, what does it look like?" he coughed, smoothing his hair.

"It's unlike anything I have ever seen before. It's remarkable." Qui-gon Sesshie breathed in awe, not even commenting on his padawans incredibly moronic entrance. "He has this presence I can't explain... whatever it is, it is strong. If this... presence could be some sort of demonic or spiritual power, it would be so extreme it would be off the charts. Even more than the Jedi lord Myoga."

"More powerful than lord Myoga?" Inu-wan Kenobi raised an eyebrow, "That's impossible! You must have made a mistake, or something. This is a human boy!"

"I am too powerful of a Jedi to make mistakes." Qui-gon said gravely, "After all, you have seen what this boy can do. He just created a girl from nothing. And he was conceived from nothing, as well!"

"Aw, come on master, you don't believe that load of crap the old woman was spewing last night?" Inu-wan sighed.

"My senses are more in tune than yours are, padawan. I would know a lie when I heard one." Qui-gon said.

"And how could he make a girl from nothing?" Inu-wan threw his arms into the air, "It's just his sister, or a girl he found randomly on the street. You _saw_ her. She was stark naked. I bet she's his sex slave wench."

"He's not even old enough to shave, Inu-wan." Qui-gon Sesshie reminded him, "And Kanna was not even a human. She was some sort of... materialization. A materialization of nothingness. There has not been a demon strong enough to do that in centuries!"

"Well then... perhaps he _is_ something." Inu-wan nodded, "But the question is... what?"

"We will have to bring him to Jedi lord Myoga for further demonic testing." Qui-gon Sesshie said, "Even Queen Kagome might be able to sense something we can not. She has this phenomenal ability to look into a persons soul. Oh, I forgot." He stopped, "Onigumo is a slave. We would have to buy him to get him to Coruscant. All slaves have a tracker that destroys them if they escape."

"Damn." Inu-wan cursed, "We don't even have money for our ship, much less the boy."

Qui-gon Sesshie thought for a few minutes. "You know... gambling is a big business in this world. What if we... won him?"


End file.
